ageha: Made@Jounins (Misc ★ Under my umbrella)
[personal profile] ageha
I think lately I've been having a turning 20's crisis - the kind where you can't stop thinking about everything you've failed to accomplish so far: no boyfriend, no great teenager adventures, no astounding academic marks. And I know I have done things but I can't shrug off this feeling of being stuck and tat everyone is being moving forward but me and I'm here, stuck. That's one of the reasons I've been such a bad LJ-friend lately - I really feel I can't comfort anyone when I myself I'm feeling like most selfish person in the world. Long time no see, self-hate.

The other is about the scholarship I want to get once I finish uni to do a master in Japan. It is a very, very difficult one to get since there are only like, 10 for the whole country. And my marks are just average so I'm feeling a lot of pressure to improve them - and the more pressured I feel, the more I procrastinate. I also need two recommendation letters, so I asked one of my teachers if I could work with him this summer. He accepted, so now I feel doubly stressed to have a good mark on that subject :X On the good side, he was the runner-up for the rector of our university and is the director of a couple of departments, so his words have a certain weigh.

On a brighter side, it has been approximately two years since I joined the Eito fandom. It is the first fandom I've really participated in, and even though I'm still a newbie in a lot of things, I think I've been really fortunate - not only being able to attend to six (!!) concerts, but also for having been able to meet you all. Thank you for being there <3 Sometimes, I really wish to join you all when you say "Eighter forever!" but I'm scared that will break the spell. It's a word I don't really live, forever - because I can never quite say it without feeling it's a white lie, because who knows what will happen?

And last of all, I opened a graphics journal [ profile] itsukamata and a flickr I might never use, but *spams*

Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.


ageha: Made@Jounins (Default)

October 2010

1011121314 1516

Style Credit

Page generated Sep. 22nd, 2017 06:07 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags