Itsuka, mata...
Apr. 19th, 2010 08:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I think lately I've been having a turning 20's crisis - the kind where you can't stop thinking about everything you've failed to accomplish so far: no boyfriend, no great teenager adventures, no astounding academic marks. And I know I have done things but I can't shrug off this feeling of being stuck and tat everyone is being moving forward but me and I'm here, stuck. That's one of the reasons I've been such a bad LJ-friend lately - I really feel I can't comfort anyone when I myself I'm feeling like most selfish person in the world. Long time no see, self-hate.
The other is about the scholarship I want to get once I finish uni to do a master in Japan. It is a very, very difficult one to get since there are only like, 10 for the whole country. And my marks are just average so I'm feeling a lot of pressure to improve them - and the more pressured I feel, the more I procrastinate. I also need two recommendation letters, so I asked one of my teachers if I could work with him this summer. He accepted, so now I feel doubly stressed to have a good mark on that subject :X On the good side, he was the runner-up for the rector of our university and is the director of a couple of departments, so his words have a certain weigh.
On a brighter side, it has been approximately two years since I joined the Eito fandom. It is the first fandom I've really participated in, and even though I'm still a newbie in a lot of things, I think I've been really fortunate - not only being able to attend to six (!!) concerts, but also for having been able to meet you all. Thank you for being there <3 Sometimes, I really wish to join you all when you say "Eighter forever!" but I'm scared that will break the spell. It's a word I don't really live, forever - because I can never quite say it without feeling it's a white lie, because who knows what will happen?
And last of all, I opened a graphics journal
itsukamata and a flickr I might never use, but *spams*
<8!
The other is about the scholarship I want to get once I finish uni to do a master in Japan. It is a very, very difficult one to get since there are only like, 10 for the whole country. And my marks are just average so I'm feeling a lot of pressure to improve them - and the more pressured I feel, the more I procrastinate. I also need two recommendation letters, so I asked one of my teachers if I could work with him this summer. He accepted, so now I feel doubly stressed to have a good mark on that subject :X On the good side, he was the runner-up for the rector of our university and is the director of a couple of departments, so his words have a certain weigh.
On a brighter side, it has been approximately two years since I joined the Eito fandom. It is the first fandom I've really participated in, and even though I'm still a newbie in a lot of things, I think I've been really fortunate - not only being able to attend to six (!!) concerts, but also for having been able to meet you all. Thank you for being there <3 Sometimes, I really wish to join you all when you say "Eighter forever!" but I'm scared that will break the spell. It's a word I don't really live, forever - because I can never quite say it without feeling it's a white lie, because who knows what will happen?
And last of all, I opened a graphics journal
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
<8!
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Date: 2010-04-19 06:59 pm (UTC)/shot
...I joined your comm :3
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Date: 2010-04-19 07:01 pm (UTC)I never really say "Eighter forever!" either. I don't know how long it'll last, but it's around 3 1/2 years for me, so I can see it being a while. Eighter for a long time? XD Anyway, happy approximate Eitoversary!
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Date: 2010-04-19 07:39 pm (UTC)Tothom sol passar una mala temporada, així que no et preocupis perquè al final tot anirà bé! ;)
Està genial que puguis treballar amb un professor que té tanta influència! I estic convençuda que aconseguiràs alguna d'aquestes 10 places! Ànims! ^___^
És una passada que en dos anys d'estar al fandom ja hagis vist 6 concerts! Wala! *____* Segur que a partir d'ara el continuaràs gaudint i en veuràs molts més! :D
Ja he afegit itsukamata a la meva f-list! Molt xules les icones! *____*
Et desitjo molta sort i que tot et vagi molt bé! *hugs a loooooooooooooot* ^_____~
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Date: 2010-04-19 08:11 pm (UTC)Lo de la universidad suena bien, ojalá tengas suerte y puedas conseguir esa plaza para cuando acabes los estudios aquí. Esfuerzate todo lo que puedas ;)
Yo también hace dos años que conocí a kanjani, aunque realmente me enganché a ellos unos meses después... pero lo de hasta cuando va a durar, eso no lo sé la verdad... a mí también me gustaría decir "Eighter forever" y por una parte quiero que sea así, ya que cuando pasen los años, aunque no sea a este nivel de fandom, quiero seguir recordándolos. El haberlos "conocido" y seguirlos como lo he hecho hasta ahora es algo muy importante de mi vida (y seguro que para ti también), y como tú dices, todas las personas que has conocido por estar aquí, es algo que siempre tendrás :)
De momento disfruta de ellos sin pensar en lo que pasará más adelante, porque no vale la pena...
a mí me gustaría tener 70 años y ver algunos de sus conciertos en dvd y que me emocionen tanto como ahora y me hagan recordar todo esto *____*>>>>>>> comunidad agregada :3 >>>>>>>>
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Date: 2010-04-20 02:57 am (UTC)And happy eitoanniversary <8888888888 I am so very thankful that I'm in this fandom too (it will be almost 2 years this summer for me), because I met you through it :)
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Date: 2010-04-21 02:08 pm (UTC)Bueno, ahí ya tenés una meta, difícil, complicada, pero es una meta muy importante. Espero que se te de y puedas realizarla =)
Por otro lado, yo tampoco suelo utilizar la palabra "forever", salvo en Fandoms como Kanjani8 o X - X JAPAN. ¿Por qué? Bueno, suena raro, pero es como que realmente me interesan y los "quiero". A ambos grupos los sigo desde mucho antes de tener internet. Más o menos '95~'97. Si bien me gustan y gustaron muchísimos grupos y demás, siento que puedo decir que X y EITO son "para siempre" ^-^
Incluso con X JAPAN separados, yo aún seguía en su FanDom (y sin intención deretirarme, claro), y al momento de reunirse de nuevo, realmente me puse feliz.
Si algún día KJ8 se separara, estoy segura que haré lo mismo. Pero creo que para eso necesitás algo que te "ate" a la palabra "forever". Yo he vivido algunas cosas similares a las de algunos de los miembos de Kanjani8, y ese puede ser motivo de que los aprecie tanto.
P.D. : me extendí demasiado, y además hblé m,ás de mí misma y mis oppiniones que de otra cosa...fallé en la respuesta, gomen xD
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Date: 2010-04-21 02:12 pm (UTC)Ya me uní a tu nueva Comm =)
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Date: 2010-04-22 12:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-22 09:02 pm (UTC)